Warning this article may be controversial. Recently I was not feeling well at all following one of my infusion treatments. After I was done with my infusion I realized I needed a rest stop before going home. I stopped into our local Kwik Trip and encountered something you don’t run into everyday at a gas station. While I was gimping through the store with my cane to make my way back to the restroom, a nice lady touched my shoulder as I was passing her. She said, “dear look like you are in pain.” I gave her my half-cocked smile with a chuckle while I nodded my head. She went on to tell me, ” you know we were not meant to live our lives in pain. A lot of people think I am strange, but I am a woman of faith and I believe in the supernatural realm.” Now don’t quote me if that was the exact words, but something very close to it if not.
This woman went on to tell me about how she had lost her daughter at the young age of 18 due to complications of epileptic seizures. She then told me how she truly believed in the ability of God to perform miracles and heal the sick. I explained to her that I too am a Christian and I believe that God is able to do whatever he chooses to do. If he wants to heal someone he can, but sometimes he may choose not to because he has other plans or purpose for that individual. She agreed.
Prior to me leaving this woman said, “here I want to give you a magazine.” She handed me a magazine called, “The Word of Faith.” She then asked, “what is your name dear, write it down. I’m a prayer warrior I want to pray for you.” I proceeded to write my name down, thanked her and left.
I left Kwik Trip kind of taken back a bit. My first thought was how that woman kind of reminded me of the lady from the movie War Room. If you haven’t seen it, I would highly recommend it. My next thought was, “why did this just happen?” Now if any of you reading this deal with chronic pain or illness, I am sure you can relate how life can wear at you and make you start questioning why you are going through these trials. If you are normally a person of faith, you may even start questioning your faith all together. I already believed in God and his ability, so I didn’t understand what the message was here for me.
I went home and decided to share my story with my cousin Brook. She said it sounded like God was reminding me he hasn’t forgotten about me. She went on to remind me about how I was just talking about how I feel so judged by others due to my illness. Brook said this was God showing me he see’s my suffering and hasn’t forgotten me. As she told me this I felt an ease come over me, because I think she was exactly right.
Later that day, I saw the verse from Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust the Lord with all thine heart; lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”
It has been amazing to me lately how God has somehow found little ways to reassure me how faithful he is when he knows I need it most. My whole life I have been somewhat of a “control freak.” I am head strong and always want to take my destiny into my own hands and figure out things on my own. Well, I have to say since getting sick God has been teaching me some lessons.
First off, I have learned I am not in control he is. And as Proverbs says, trust not in your own understanding. When you are going through times of suffering in life, I think it isn’t unusual to question, “what good could possibly come of me going through this Lord?” But sometimes I have to step back and remember: his ways are greater than ours, he sees things we cannot see, and knows things we do not know. We need to learn to Trust. Because we are human and imperfect, it is natural to question and try to gain understanding of what we don’t know. However, I think the more we listen to God’s voice in what we do and build a relationship, the more we will just trust that when we don’t understand his ways, he still has our best interest in mind.
I hope if you are struggling with some “valleys” in your life you can find some comfort in my story. Maybe you can open your ears to try to listen more closely in how God may be speaking to you right now. I don’t know why some people have to go through suffering in their life, but I do know we have a loving God that has things all figured out. Let me end with this: The righteous person may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all Psalm 34:19